Patience

Patience is something I’ve been striving to possess for many, many years. As a matter of fact I published a page holder on this subject in this blog in 2018, it is now 2025 and I am just now writing it. I didn’t procrastinate, although I am the Queen of Procrastinate. I simply hadn’t learned my lesson in patience yet.

To be honest, I am still learning what it means to be patient. Patience isn’t something we get. It’s something we practice. As an impatient person, I often struggle to manage my overwhelm, my moods, and impatience with others. This doesn’t make me a bad person, but it does lead me to making the wrong choices or saying the wrong thing.

My long lesson in patience

About 12 years ago, I found a small, thin, starving kitten who must have been no more than 9-months-old. She crept cautiously through my backyard trying to sneak past me. But she failed, as my then 5-year-old daughter first noticed her and became excited at the prospect of a new pet. The kitten froze, as they do, and I walked up to her calmly and quietly. I wanted to let her know I was no threat and I simply wanted to make friends so we can feed her and take care of her.

The moment I came within reach she reached out in one fell swoop and scratched the plasma out of me. This cat was broken and so was my skin. “No matter”, I thought, “I’ll try again later. For now I’ll leave food out for her so she won’t starve to death. Someday soon, she’ll warm up to us and we can be friends. I’m sure as a token of her appreciation she will let us play with her.”

Well, Kitty Cattabula Cat had different plans. She spent the next 10 years avoiding us, hissing at us, and swiping at us anytime we tried to get close to her. We still fed her for a decade. She brought us, useless hunters, a few dead mice, birds, and garden snakes. That was her way of saying thank you, but don’t ever try to touch me…this end is what awaits you if you try.

Message received, assassin kitty.

Why did I want to have patience so badly?

I used to pray for patience. Every day I’d pray to be a patient person. And my prayers were answered, just not in the manner in which I imagined. See, patience isn’t bestowed upon those who pray for it.

Patience comes in a series of lessons. When you are sitting in traffic. When your man says the most eye-rolling worthy thing. When your child is droning on and on about Minecraft or whatever they are obsessed with that week. Or when a kitty makes you wait 12 years before she will finally let you sit next to her and pet her and listen to her purr.

I suppose I’ve been burying the lead all along. The reason I wanted patience? So I could show up…not just for the world, but for myself, and for the people I care about. I knew that the only way I could develop self-love is by being patient with myself. And even though my prayer wasn’t answered in the way I wanted, I am very grateful for my feline teacher.

How to Practice Patience

Patience is a skill you practice, not a trait you magically wake up with. It’s a skill, a muscle, a weird little habit you build whether you like it or not. Even without a “teacher” like Kitty Cattabula Cat, you can train yourself.

Here are several approaches:

Start tiny.

Seriously, don’t wait until someone cuts you off in traffic and you lose it. Start with the little stuff: the slow cashier, the Wi-Fi buffering, the line at Starbucks. Notice that tiny bubbling feeling in your chest and say to yourself, “Ah yes, impatience. I see you.” Labeling it takes the sting out of it. It’s basically a mini Jedi mind trick.

Shift your perspective.

Waiting isn’t wasted time. That traffic jam? That line at the grocery store? That’s free time to breathe, to think, to sing your heart out to that playlist nobody asked for. Waiting can actually be… pleasant. I said it. Don’t roll your eyes.

Breathe.

Seriously, just breathe. Mindfulness isn’t woo-woo nonsense… it’s a superpower. Sit down, inhale, exhale, and notice all the little things you usually ignore: your dog snoring, your cat judging you, that weird stain on your ceiling you’ve been ignoring for months. Focus on the now. It works.

Lower your expectations.

Impatience usually comes from thinking the world owes you fast results. Newsflash: it doesn’t. Life moves at its own weird pace, and most things take longer than you think. Accept it. Embrace it. Make peace with it.

Delay gratification.

Don’t eat the cookie right now. Don’t scroll Instagram. Don’t hit “send” on that email filled with passive-aggressive ALL CAPS. Learn the joy of waiting…even just a little. It’s like tiny training weights for your patience muscle.

Be kind.

Impatience loves judgment…your own, or someone else’s. Stop it. Everyone’s figuring it out, including you. Take a deep breath, shrug, and move on. You’ll feel lighter.

Make patience a hobby.

Brew tea slowly, do a puzzle, water a plant, or just stare out the window for a few minutes. Yes, stare. That’s allowed. It’s a practice. Little rituals like this remind your brain: waiting can actually be…nice. Who knew?

Reflect.

When you lose it, and you will, because you’re human, think back. What triggered it? How did you act? Could you do better next time? Even a tiny improvement is progress. Tiny, slow, awkward progress. That’s patience in action.

So, here’s the thing: patience isn’t a thing you get. It’s a thing you do, over and over and over. Traffic jams, eye-rolling teens, Minecraft monologues, and yes…even the long, hissy stare of a cat who refuses to like you for over a decade…these are your teachers. And if you pay attention, you’ll notice something: eventually, waiting doesn’t feel so bad after all.