Do You Ever Feel Like Life Is Just Too Much?

Do you ever feel like the amount of responsibilities you have is too much and the pressure literally takes your breath away? Maybe you are a single mother running her own business and the demands from home and clients are just more than you can handle.

But we feel like we have to handle it. If we don’t, then everything will fall apart or we won’t be Super Mom anymore. Even if we wanted to ask for help, there is no time to stop for that help. And hiring someone alone can feel like more work because now we have to train them to take over tasks. I get it because I’m right there with you.

I constantly have to remind myself to stop, take a breath, and reevaluate. And it does not happen just once or twice. I do it often. And this, my friend, is a form of self-care.
I think a lot of us … myself included, imagine self-care as unplugging the phone and soaking in the tub for hours. We hyperventilate just imagining that because we can barely take our eye off all the balls in the air for one second, let alone relax in a tub while everything falls apart around us.

A Technique I Use When Pressure Mounts

This is a technique I follow when the pressure starts to mount and stress becomes the autopilot driver. I remind myself that if I take one hour, my world does not actually fall apart.

Once I remind myself of that, I take one hour and don’t do anything at all. No work, no chores, no cooking, no cleaning, no errands, no kid-related stuff. Just make sure everyone is alive and well. No messages, no phone, no social media. Just me and a notebook.

Brain Dump Everything That’s in Your Head

Get a journal, notebook, or piece of paper and literally write down everything in your head right now. No organization yet. No priorities. Just dump it out.

Some of mine look like this:

groceries
meal prep
school
study
test
client deadlines
taxes
laundry
dog vaccines
car tire
check mail
molar that has been aching for weeks

…You get the point.

Now Organize What You Wrote Down

Once you have everything out of your head and on paper, you can start to see patterns.

Ask yourself: Which of these are causing the most stress? Which have deadlines coming up soon?

Then sort them:

Things I have to do myself – Tasks only you can handle.

Things I cannot control – Stop giving these energy.

Things others can help me with – Friends, family, partners, support groups.

Things I can hire someone to do – There is help out there worth paying for.

And finally…

Cross out things that should not even be on the list – There should be at least one of these.

Once I do this, I can often realize that some of the things weighing on my brain are either things I cannot control or things I do not need to be stressed about in the first place.

Learning to Focus on What Really Matters

You have to practice paying attention to what truly matters at the end of the day. I love sayings like “not my circus, not my monkey” and “nacho kids.”

It is not my responsibility to raise children that are not mine. Do not get me wrong, if a child needs me, I will be there. But if a neighbor sends the kids over to play every day without asking, I do not have to accept that … especially when we have things going on.

If something is not my business, then I do not have to waste time stressing or doing anything about it. Maybe if I had extra time I would help. But right now I can barely breathe with my own issues to handle.

You have to set boundaries and limits for yourself … and stick to them.

Asking for and Accepting Help Is Not Weak

Brain dumping also shows you what you can ask others to help you with. Friends and family are often more than happy to help, and that is what support systems are for. And if someone says “I would like to help, but I cannot right now,” that is okay. It is healthy. Everyone has boundaries.

If you cannot find someone to help, then move those tasks into the “outsource and hire” pile. There are people out there looking for side work.

If your lawn is overgrown because you have not had time, hire someone to mow it. If your social media is behind, hire support. You are getting your needs met and helping someone else at the same time.

You can even start with your children. Are they old enough to do some of these tasks? How much can you pay them? That teaches them responsibility and money value.

Seeing the Big Picture

Brain dumping helps you see the real picture. It might tell you why your molar has been aching for weeks, because you do not prioritize your health. Not because you cannot prioritize your health, but because it feels like you have no time.

Once you follow this technique, you might find time to see the dentist … and yes, maybe even time to finally soak in the tub.

And this, my love, is self-care. Brain dumping is a form of self-care.

I Hope This Helps

I really hope this helps in any capacity. Please leave a comment if this resonates with you. Let’s keep this conversation going. Tell me why this might not work for you. Tell me if this has ever worked for you. Tell me what does work for you.