I also have fingernails, that doesn't mean I am fingernails.
Back in 2000 and something I was diagnosed as 'manic depressive'. That is what bipolar disorder was called back then. Back when people didn't talk about it much. Back when you had no idea why you just couldn't be normal like all of your high school friends.
Once I got the diagnosis I didn't feel relieved. There wasn't much information back then like there is today. I had even more questions. Why me? How did I catch it? If I have kids will they have it too? Can I infect people with it?
Also, what is 'manic depression"?
I was prescribed medication for about a month. Honestly, I don't even remember if I took them or if they helped. I think they did for a bit.
Then a decade later I was prescribed another set of medications. This time it was a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant. They made me feel meh. Like a zombie. Awake but not alert. By nature, I am very empathetic. But I feel like the meds de-empathized me. Which is I guess what their job was. I don't know.
But I do know that not too long after something horrible happened in my life and I wasn't able to afford my meds. So I had to stop taking them cold turkey. That experience scarred me. To this day I manage my bipolar disorder by exercising, self-care, tracking my moods, and learning mindful meditation. It isn't easy but I know that nobody can ever take this little toolbag of mine.
Some months I have a great month managing my disorder. Other months I have to give into it and wait for the storms to pass.
Does this mean I am dangerous? Or evil? Or untrustworthy? No. This just means that I respect the hell out of myself for being this strong. This disorder has forced me to truly know myself. To know my patterns and my seasons. To be forgiving with myself and to be patient with myself.
This is another reason why I started this blog. So that I can share what I've learned with women or young ladies who are going through this.
My new focus for this blog is to pay more attention to my bipolar disorder and share whatever I think will help you. If you are not interested in learning about bipolar disorder that's ok. I am still going to post more articles on affirmations, self-love, respect, forgiveness, and more.
You may have a family member or a friend who has bipolar but has chosen not to come out. We are working hard to break the stigma around bipolar disorder and hopefully, they will feel comfortable coming out.
If you do have a person in your life with bipolar disorder, please let them know you are there, even when they want to be in their cave. It's so hard for us to reach out to our people because we don't want to be a burden, but just hearing you say "I am here" is enough to keep us fighting this battle.
Here are some things I found on Amazon that I thought were cute and funny.
If you are inclined to purchase something through these affiliate links I hugely appreciate it. Amazon will give me a very small percentage out of anything you buy - at no added cost to you.
Some journals & workbooks
Some haha mugs
Sometimes you have to have a little sense of humor and have fun with it.
Some shirts - LOVE THESE!!!
"I am not bipolar, I have bipolar. I also have fingernails, that doesn't mean I am fingernails."
Thank you for reading and remember to love yourself today.
May I Suggest ...
Check out this book on self-care to learn more about ways to help yourself be the best version of yourself.
Happiness Through Self-Care: How To Love Yourself More. A Simple Plan to Soothe and Care For Your Body, Mind, and Spirit
With this e-book you'll learn:
- How to use loving-kindness meditation
- How to use CBT to forget worries and silence your inner critic
- How to use ‘positive self-talk’ to reaffirm your worth
- Why you should take time out to pamper and groom yourself
- How to overcome stress and anxiety
- How to be kinder to yourself
- How to practice gratitude to bring you into the present moment and help you to feel better
- & a lot more.