Self Love

Don’t Cry Over Broken Glass

What a dramatic day!

Today was one of those days.  It was so hard for me to see the world the way I instructed myself to see it during my morning yoga practice.  I told myself to go out into the world to share love, compassion and understanding but the universe had a different plan for me.

 

On my way to work someone threw a large rock or brick at my car and caused a huge crack in my windshield.  Naturally I freaked out and screamed for about an eternity as I drove on the highway at about 70 miles per hour.  Thinking back I am amazed that I didn't swerve into the other cars, that would have been a catastrophy!

 

I called my boyfriend who was trying to reassure me and be there for me but for some reason everything he said just felt like the wrong thing and I had to tell him I had to go.  I didn't want to be mean and unappreciative, I just wanted to be left alone for a minute while I slowly drove the rest of the way to work so that I can handle this situation.

 

During that time I was imagining that the replacement was going to cost anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000.  I have never needed a windshield replaced so I had absolutely no idea what I was going to up against.  Luckily through the wonders of technology in less than 5 minutes I had myself an appointment to get my windshied replaced that same day for under $300!  What???  I didn't even think to shop around, who cares...anything under $1,000 is an amazing deal to me!  So, I took Rosita, (that's my 2005 Toyota 4Runner) into the shop and in they took her for a new windshield.   She came back in great shape 1 hour later and with the cleanest windshield I've seen!  Driving home I had the urge to reach into the windshield just to make sure I had one, the view was so clean and clear.  I can see why some birds make the unfortunate and, lets just say it, hilarious mistake of flying into glass.

 

It was very hard for me to spread love into the world and it was even hard for my inner voice to console me but in the end, I handled this situation a lot better than I would have a few years ago.  I guess growing up is doing me some good.  Not to mention 20-something year old me would be freaking out about spending $300 on Rosita, but 36 year old (as of 2 days ago 😉 me was very proud of being able to pull that out of savings to rescue my loyal 4Runner and get this day over with.

 

Shout out to SafeLite AutoGlass in Austin Tx for saving the day!

(https://www.safelite.com)

*This is not an affiliate or paid review, I am just very grateful for their help*

 

Check back or visit my Facebook Page @ https://www.facebook.com/gottalovemyselftoo

 

 

Self Love

Self Acceptance

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

Lao Tzu

My dear friend (lets call her Linda) is constantly apologizing for the ‘mess’ in her house.  She apologizes if we hang out and she isn’t wearing makeup and starts most stories with, “don’t judge me.”  My response to her is, “You don’t have to worry! If I ever judge you, that means I’m no longer your friend. I don’t judge you at all.  I don’t even see the mess or the missing makeup and your stories crack me up!”

When you have a real friendship with another person, you accept that friend for who they are flaws and all, otherwise you would not choose to spend time with them.  There is a reason why I only have 3 true friendships at the age of 35.

I remember when I was about 18 I used to tell my friends in a “joking’ way, that if I could run away from myself I would.  Being stuck with myself was the worst punishment for me. I used to sit and wonder why these kids wanted to hang out with me.  Was I funny? Kind? Smart? What did they see in me? I really needed to know because all I saw was a failure, a loser, ugly girl, stupid and moody.  Back then I remember thinking, if only these kids took a peek into my thoughts, they would see my true ugly and abandon me.

It was time to make a change.

Fast forward 12 years later, the way I started feeling about my flaws started changing.  Maybe it was a combination of going through life-changing events like 2 failed marriages and having a child that helped me start seeing myself as a strong woman.  Respect for myself started sprouting once I saw myself as a strong woman. Eventually when I started practicing self-love, I had to look at myself in the mirror daily to look into my soul and also take notice of the exterior.  It is my personal belief that I am the most flawed person in the universe. Obviously that isn’t true, but don’t we all (or most of us) feel that way?

Just because I’m flawed it doesn’t make me trash or any less human.  Actually, my flaws make me a human. My friends are human. My daughter is human.  I don’t judge my friends and I don’t judge my daughter, then why should I judge myself?  

After taking notice of my flaws, I started working on accepting the flaws I couldn’t change.  I made a list of things I could change. For example eating processed foods. Once I started eating less processed foods I saw amazing side effects. My skin started glowing and looking better, not to mention I started going number 2 on a more regular basis which was awesome!  I started drinking more water and moving more, which as a result my overall health started improving.

The flaws I couldn’t change such as my nose (I guess I could change that but I don’t want surgery just yet, I am saving that for a face lift later 😉 were flaws I had to learn to accept.  I’m still working on accepting the other flaws that are harder to accept but for the most part I would say I accept myself just as I am.

Once I started accepting myself it became easier to walk into the world with my head held high.  I no longer feel the need to apologize for being me. In a way I gave myself an amazing gift. Don’t take me wrong, just because I accepted myself doesn’t mean I don’t have to continue working at mindfully loving and accepting myself.  I have to practice patience with myself on a daily basis since I make mistakes on a daily basis just like anyone else.

Once you realize you are human and perfection will never be attainable, you’ll go easier on yourself.

How will you start accepting yourself?  What flaws are hard for you to accept? Which flaws can you change right now?  Which flaws will you have to live with? Can you turn any of those flaws into a strength?

Leave your answers in the comments.  Sometimes sharing helps not only yourself but others in the same boat.  You will see just how not alone you are.

Thank you for reading!

Nancy

Here are some articles & blogs I found while doing some research.  (*I am not an affiliate and I am not working with any of the websites in my Reading List.)

Reading List:

The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/the-path-unconditional-self-acceptance

How Self Acceptance Can Crack Open Your Life

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-self-acceptance-can-crack-open-your-life

Uncategorized

Self Forgiveness

“Let the past go. Forgive yourself and allow peace to enter in. Life is a process of learning and we are all works in progress.”

― Eileen Anglin

 

We all screw up. Of course you know that since we are usually the first ones to point out our screw ups.  However as humans we make mistakes large and small. Every single day of our lives we make mistakes one way or another.  The problem isn’t whether we made a mistake but how we reach to those mistakes and how we treat ourselves.

 

I’m sure as a young child most of you were scolded, yelled at or in the extreme cases physically punished for making mistakes.  Over the years we used the same techniques we were taught at a young age on ourselves when we make mistakes.

 

In the past I have punished myself emotionally, mentally and physically to pay for some mistakes I have made.  (I will not give you ideas as to how I punished myself, but sometimes it was pretty bad). Going back to thinking of myself as a 7 year old, I stopped treating myself so brutally and started practicing patience and understanding with myself.  When I accepted the fact that I was human therefore I would never be perfect, I allowed myself to to make mistakes and learn from them.

 

Self forgiveness means accepting the fact that you made a mistake and taking responsibility for it.  Reflecting on why the mistake was made and whether it could have been prevented. Making a mental note and a conscious effort to prevent the same mistake in the future and congratulating yourself for acknowledging the mistake and not freaking out on yourself.  It also means not throwing this mistake back at your own face later when facing a harsh time of negative self-reflection.

 

Once you learn to forgive yourself you will be able to move on to other things in your life with a lighter load from your shoulders.  Also, if you tend to be the type of person to hold grudges against others, it may also help you forgive, forget and move on.

 

Tell me, do you already practice self-forgiveness?  If not, how will you start today? Sharing, even in the comments below can help you start brainstorming ways to take better care of yourself.

Reading List:

 

The Healthy Way to Forgive Yourself

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_healthy_way_to_forgive_yourself

 

How To Forgive Yourself: 7 Techniques For Self Forgiveness

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/forgive-techniques-self-forgiveness/

 

6 Ways to Forgive Yourself and Start Moving Forward

https://www.happify.com/hd/6-ways-to-forgive-yourself/

Self Love

Welcome to the blog!

About Gotta Love Myself

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” -Robert Morely

Once upon a time not too long ago I was very mean, inconsiderate, berating and unforgiving.  I was very quick to judge and point out every single flaw and even at times made ‘joking’ comments about those flaws.  I sound like a total b*tch don’t I? What if I told you I only treated myself this way? I could never treat another person like this.  Why? Well, because that is just wrong. So, why was I so comfortable treating myself this badly?

For most of my life I have felt unloved and abandoned. It doesn’t mean I have to live the rest of my life feeling that way. However, I can’t begin to accept love until I learned to love myself.  If I don’t love myself, I will not feel worthy of love so I won’t be open to anyone else’s love. This also works the other way around, if I can’t love myself, I can’t truly love others.

One day a couple of years ago I decided it was time for me to start taking responsibility for making myself happy and start loving myself.  I knew this was going to be very awkward and very difficult since my relationship with myself had always been a hate/hate one.

I started wondering how much differently my life would have been if I could just travel back to when I was about 7 years old and told myself that I am loved.  Since I can’t time-travel, I decided to use 7-year-old me as my motivation to change the way I talk to myself.  Would you tell 7- year-old you that you are an idiot for forgetting to do something? I wouldn’t. I would be way nicer to 7-year-old me.  

Mentally, I stopped calling myself things like lazy, dumb, idiot, stupid.   So instead of saying something like, “I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I missed my exit!”  Now I say, “Wow, I was so distracted that I missed my exit, it’s ok I’ll take the next one, make a u-turn and start paying more attention to the road.  Good thing I didn’t miss 2 exits!” I know it sounds very weird, but it works. If I think of myself as a young child, I am more patient, understanding, compassionate and more open to accepting my flaws and still love myself.

For  years I debated whether I should share this journey of mine and I finally took the plunge. We go around taking care of other people we often forget to take care of ourselves. This blog and facebook page was put together so I can remind others to love themselves.   Knowing that the journey to loving ourselves is a complicated one, I wanted to share the methods that worked for me in hopes that it helps you too.

Today, when you talk to yourself or about yourself, do you do it in a loving way?  Let me know in the comments if I am alone in this or if you too have/had an issue with how you are/were treating yourself.  Sometimes putting things in writing helps!

Here are some articles & blogs I found while doing some research.  (*I am not an affiliate and I am not working with any of the websites in my Reading List.)

Reading List:

A Seven -Step Prescription for Self-Love

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love

 

Just Love Yourself: 5 Must-Know Self-Love Techniques

https://blog.mindvalley.com/self-love-techniques/

 

10 Wonderful Ways To Practice Self-Love

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12428/10-wonderful-ways-to-practice-selflove.html

Check back or visit my Facebook Page @ https://www.facebook.com/gottalovemyselftoo