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Self Forgiveness

“Let the past go. Forgive yourself and allow peace to enter in. Life is a process of learning and we are all works in progress.”

― Eileen Anglin

 

We all screw up. Of course you know that since we are usually the first ones to point out our screw ups.  However as humans we make mistakes large and small. Every single day of our lives we make mistakes one way or another.  The problem isn’t whether we made a mistake but how we reach to those mistakes and how we treat ourselves.

 

I’m sure as a young child most of you were scolded, yelled at or in the extreme cases physically punished for making mistakes.  Over the years we used the same techniques we were taught at a young age on ourselves when we make mistakes.

 

In the past I have punished myself emotionally, mentally and physically to pay for some mistakes I have made.  (I will not give you ideas as to how I punished myself, but sometimes it was pretty bad). Going back to thinking of myself as a 7 year old, I stopped treating myself so brutally and started practicing patience and understanding with myself.  When I accepted the fact that I was human therefore I would never be perfect, I allowed myself to to make mistakes and learn from them.

 

Self forgiveness means accepting the fact that you made a mistake and taking responsibility for it.  Reflecting on why the mistake was made and whether it could have been prevented. Making a mental note and a conscious effort to prevent the same mistake in the future and congratulating yourself for acknowledging the mistake and not freaking out on yourself.  It also means not throwing this mistake back at your own face later when facing a harsh time of negative self-reflection.

 

Once you learn to forgive yourself you will be able to move on to other things in your life with a lighter load from your shoulders.  Also, if you tend to be the type of person to hold grudges against others, it may also help you forgive, forget and move on.

 

Tell me, do you already practice self-forgiveness?  If not, how will you start today? Sharing, even in the comments below can help you start brainstorming ways to take better care of yourself.

Reading List:

 

The Healthy Way to Forgive Yourself

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_healthy_way_to_forgive_yourself

 

How To Forgive Yourself: 7 Techniques For Self Forgiveness

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/forgive-techniques-self-forgiveness/

 

6 Ways to Forgive Yourself and Start Moving Forward

https://www.happify.com/hd/6-ways-to-forgive-yourself/

Self Love

Welcome to the blog!

About Gotta Love Myself

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” -Robert Morely

Once upon a time not too long ago I was very mean, inconsiderate, berating and unforgiving.  I was very quick to judge and point out every single flaw and even at times made ‘joking’ comments about those flaws.  I sound like a total b*tch don’t I? What if I told you I only treated myself this way? I could never treat another person like this.  Why? Well, because that is just wrong. So, why was I so comfortable treating myself this badly?

For most of my life I have felt unloved and abandoned. It doesn’t mean I have to live the rest of my life feeling that way. However, I can’t begin to accept love until I learned to love myself.  If I don’t love myself, I will not feel worthy of love so I won’t be open to anyone else’s love. This also works the other way around, if I can’t love myself, I can’t truly love others.

One day a couple of years ago I decided it was time for me to start taking responsibility for making myself happy and start loving myself.  I knew this was going to be very awkward and very difficult since my relationship with myself had always been a hate/hate one.

I started wondering how much differently my life would have been if I could just travel back to when I was about 7 years old and told myself that I am loved.  Since I can’t time-travel, I decided to use 7-year-old me as my motivation to change the way I talk to myself.  Would you tell 7- year-old you that you are an idiot for forgetting to do something? I wouldn’t. I would be way nicer to 7-year-old me.  

Mentally, I stopped calling myself things like lazy, dumb, idiot, stupid.   So instead of saying something like, “I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I missed my exit!”  Now I say, “Wow, I was so distracted that I missed my exit, it’s ok I’ll take the next one, make a u-turn and start paying more attention to the road.  Good thing I didn’t miss 2 exits!” I know it sounds very weird, but it works. If I think of myself as a young child, I am more patient, understanding, compassionate and more open to accepting my flaws and still love myself.

For  years I debated whether I should share this journey of mine and I finally took the plunge. We go around taking care of other people we often forget to take care of ourselves. This blog and facebook page was put together so I can remind others to love themselves.   Knowing that the journey to loving ourselves is a complicated one, I wanted to share the methods that worked for me in hopes that it helps you too.

Today, when you talk to yourself or about yourself, do you do it in a loving way?  Let me know in the comments if I am alone in this or if you too have/had an issue with how you are/were treating yourself.  Sometimes putting things in writing helps!

Here are some articles & blogs I found while doing some research.  (*I am not an affiliate and I am not working with any of the websites in my Reading List.)

Reading List:

A Seven -Step Prescription for Self-Love

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love

 

Just Love Yourself: 5 Must-Know Self-Love Techniques

https://blog.mindvalley.com/self-love-techniques/

 

10 Wonderful Ways To Practice Self-Love

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12428/10-wonderful-ways-to-practice-selflove.html

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